The "Muy MAL" Project

April 11, 2012

Reconnecting with Love Serious Like

"Muy MAL" was a phrase and acronym that was used between my friends and I during college. Now that we are a little more grown up, the phrase/acronym still has some significance. Really, it just translates to some things that feel good are not always good for you (the actual Spanish translation means very bad). We had to keep that in mind concerning relationships that we were previously in. Actually, it all started with an actual person I was seeing in college that had me all over the place…notice I said seeing, not dating. This person would not make a commitment, even to date me, at the time. But he sure would be happy to “see” me. It was my fault. I let it happen because it felt good to me. But obviously, it wasn’t good for me.

So here we are, years later, after many other relationships only to connect again. But what exactly did I learn from the "relationship" years ago? Firstly, if a person cannot even commit to dating you exclusively, then they're not worth the time or attention. I know, I know, but it feels so good when you're together and he just needs a little time...No! You need some space and a different view. Usually, when something feels good to us, our blinders go up. We can only see the object of our affection in one particular light. But once we give ourselves distance enough to step back and see the full picture, our view changes dramatically.


Second, what you have is precious, so keep it for someone that deserves it. As the old adage goes, "why buy the cow, when the milks for free?" What exactly is your real worth to this person? And why is it that you are placing more worth into this situation than it really needs? Men are cut and dry. What they do and decisions that they make are who they are. So when, you really look at the actions of a person, it tells you what is priority in their life. And unfortunately, it might not be you. period. Hard pill to swallow but better that than a hard lesson learned.

Which brings us back to my reconnection with this person. We'll name him later (I'll be taking your suggestions). I guess the first question that needs to be answered is, where am I on his list of priorities? I guess we shall soon see. Going a date with him soon. I'll keep you posted...

–Leeka

http://curlscrownsncurves.blogspot.com

April 24, 2012

Fool me twice…

So where were we? Oh yes, I was going out on a date with Mr. Long time no see…so what did we learn from this date…

People will always assume that they can pick up where they left off in the relationship.

Ok…let me start by saying the actual “date” went well. It was actually more like a meet up. We met, we ate, we talked, we laughed and then we went our separate ways with plans to meet up again in a couple of hours…which is where it went down hill. I’ll backtrack just a little bit to set the scene. We were actual supposed to meet up the day before but I basically got stood up because of an unexpected occurrence, but was not informed about it until I asked (HELLO!!! RED FLAG!!!). So then, we decide to meet up the next day and it turns out that we actually had a good time together. OK, Great!! Looks promising so far. We then decide because of this good time, we’ll meet up in a couple of hours so that I can go and handle some business. After my business was done, I was ready to roll…only to no avail. When trying to get in contact via text message and a phone call, no response. So after waiting for about an hour, I give the benefit of the doubt and try just one more time. Well, he did answer his phone…only to tell me he’ll call me back. (Jesus take the wheel!! Because now, I’m completely done!!). Now, I know you’re saying, “Why did you give him that many chances? Couldn’t you see he wasn’t even thinking about you?”…Well, I’ve been accused of being short tempered and impatient when it comes to relationships. So here was my attempt at being patient. Unfortunately, it was with the wrong person. So, after being stood up a second time, I decided it was two times too many. So I politely sent a text that read, “this was the second time that you stood me up and that’s 2 times to many.” He called, apologized, made an fool of himself and I haven’t spoken to him since…

When people show you who they are…believe them.

I firmly believe that people make priority what’s important to them. I often try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I meet them. I give them a chance even after making a mistake. But it would be my mistake if I don’t acknowledge a pattern of “mistakes”. If a person will stand you up two times in a row, then you are not important to them. Period. Point blank. 

The question for me is…what lesson did I learn from this? Well…I’ll tell you…if you allow someone to take up your time that is precious to you and worth nothing to them, then you remain the fool. You have to make sure that the person is worth it. Yes, I’ll say it! Place a worth on a person. It helps you to keep your priorities straight. It will make you think clearly when it comes to choosing who you spend your time with. There is nothing wrong with people earning their worth. It’s the American way, lol.

So, now that this chapter is closed, on the the next one…hopefully it will turn out better than this one.

–Leeka

http://curlscrownsncurves.blogspot.com

May 12, 2012

Potential Newbie!!!

Hey people, I know it’s been a while but I’m back again with dating adventures…actually, I’m not writing this about the actual act of dating but the potential date. You see, I came across an interesting young man recently and he seems to be very “date-able.” So this isn’t exactly about The “Muy Mal” project type of person. He’s seem to be on the other end of the spectrum, which is a little intimidating if you’re not ready for it. Got to get pass the intimidation, so that I can see who he is and what he’s about. The Lesson here is to be yourself and keep it where it needs to be, which is as a friend…for now. We will see how this goes. But until then, keep it classy!

 –Leeka

http://curlscrownsncurves.blogspot.com